Anxiety & Colored Markers

You may not realize it, but ladies and gentlemen...these pictures show exactly what true love looks like.

For those of you who don't know, I was officially diagnosed with an anxiety disorder in 2014. I was used to having nightmares, panic attacks, and moments where I simply couldn't function. But I was also tired of it and wanted a solution.

I am not someone who loves the idea of taking pills or having to rely on medication. But before I started taking medication I was having two or three nightmares a week and at least four panic attacks a month. I can now count on one hand the number of nightmares and panic attacks I've had. Unfortunately though they do still happen. And last week proved to be one of those times.

I am not trying to complain or sound like I am the only busy person in the world. Being a full time wife and mommy, working full time, and working on a Masters degree can be a lot for anyone. For me, sometimes it's a little too much. Last week I was feeling stressed out, lonely, overwhelmed, and just unhappy. My husband picked up on that and wouldn't let it go until I finally broke down and talked to him.

So I did. Amid full on tears and an anxiety attack I confessed I was a mess and couldn't handle things anymore. Sometimes prayers and little white pills just don't work.

As often as I have no idea what my husband is talking about, I am extremely thankful he has such an logical mind. Instead of telling me to get over it or just pray or whatever else, he suggested we get a schedule chart and write out our responsibilities. As he put it, "I know how much you like lists, so why not have a visual one for both of us?" That way I wouldn't feel like it all falls on me. That way we could talk and divide stuff up. That way I wouldn't get overwhelmed. Wow.

So yesterday I went out and got a schedule board and colored markers. And TOGETHER we wrote out our homework schedules, chores, and meals. It was like I could finally take a breath and KNOW I didn't have to do it all on my own. Marriage is really cool that way.

For those of you with friends or significant others with anxiety, don't tell them to get over it. And don't feel bad if you don't understand it. And please, please, please, do not throw verses about casting all your cares on God or say if you pray about it you'll feel better. There is no better way to make a person with anxiety feel like a Jesus-failure. Do try to come up with creative ways to help. Or just remind them you're there when they need you. Let them tell you what they need in the midst of a panic attack then do it.

And for those of you who can relate and understand how annoying it is to have anxiety...be honest. Make lists. Color code everything. Find what works for you. And ask for help when you need it. I am still working on this last part and have been since I was little. I know that it's not going to come easy, but I have to believe it's possible.

Life is not easy. Anxiety is not easy. But with the help of a schedule board, some colored markers, and a husband who loves me more than I deserve, it's looking at bit more manageable.

#anxiety #managinganxiety #mentalhealth #honesty #schedules #mealplans #lifewithanxiety